Articles


Relationship or Marriage Counseling
The Warning Signs - How to know when to call for help
People often wait too long to call for help.

  • It is hard to speak to your spouse about dissatisfactions.
  • Sometimes you find yourself avoiding your husband or wife.
  • There is too much unsaid, or too many wounding things said between you.
  • Simmering resentments lead to feelings of “falling out of love.”
  • Sexual connection can diminish or be less satisfying.
  • You begin to question, “Did I ever really love this person?”
  • Small annoyances lead to unexpected explosions, distance, or increasing resentments.
  • You feel victimized or paralyzed, angry and bad inside yourself.
  • You may feel angry all the time or you may feel dead and numb inside.
  • There is a familiar feeling of being misunderstood, not heard and not valued.
  • Things between you escalate and suddenly you wonder “what happened?”
  • You are scared and hurting and terribly disappointed.
All of these, and more are signals to call and ask for help. Often problems feel so deep and overwhelming, it is very hard to reach out. But working through issues, learning to understand how we all make assumptions about what the other means or how they feel can lead to a reconnection and ultimately a deepening of relationship. Every relationship goes through periods where there needs to be negotiation and risking to know and say what you want and need. There is help to make your way through these difficult times.



Depression and Anxiety
It is often said that depression is anger turned inward. This can be the case but often the feelings of depression and anxiety are about hopelessness and helplessness in life. They can be triggered by a particular situation like the significant loss of someone important in your life or conflicts in relationships. Often there are feelings of inadequacy and self doubt brought about by a sense of failure or disappointment. These feelings can be old and familiar, or they can be new and painful. Psychotherapy can help.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression:
  • Difficulty sleeping, either getting to sleep or staying asleep
  • Either eating too much or too little
  • Excessive worry and concern
  • Tearfulness
  • Irritability
  • A feeling of rawness, hypersensitivity or vulnerability
  • Feelings of dread
  • A sense that the world and everyday life is just too much
  • A feeling of being alone
  • Intrusive, repetitive negative thoughts
  • A sense of spinning out of control or falling apart
  • A general feeling of sadness or tiredness that lasts for too long
Psychotherapy can help by having someone to speak to about your most frightening fears and concerns. There is a chance to think about why you feel so bad, where it began and how it continues. Shame is often a powerful component, as well as a sense of being alone and overwhelmed with these feelings. Having a safe place to feel understood and to understand yourself helps to make sense of the tangle of emotion that makes it hard to think and then hard to learn how best to cope, be resilient and find a path for yourself.

Therapy can help you to gain insight and understanding, reducing the intensity of the feelings, and helping you to make lifestyle changes and learn to cope with one’s issues differently. Psychotherapy can help.